To the person I've been longing for,
I don't even know how to start this, because the truth is... I've loved you in silence for such a long time, from the very first moment we met.
Back then, we were young. I didn't even understand what that feeling meant. And maybe you didn't either. I know now that you probably just wanted to have fun with me, using my body for your own desires. You ghosted me once you got what you wanted. And so I kept those feelings to myself. Quiet. Buried. But alive.
Now, we don't talk anymore. I can never see you again. Still, even after all this time, even when you disappeared, even when life moved on and maybe when you marry someone else one day, a part of you will always live inside me. In my mind. In my heart. Always.
You never even needed to be near. Just the thought of you gave me comfort. You felt like home, even when you were hurting me.
I was so happy when you made the effort to meet me in January 2025, even though we were 300km apart. That one day… gave me sparks. I cooked for you. I gave you a watch as a birthday gift as an early gift, because I knew how much you loved watches.
But ever since then, I've never once seen you wear it. Maybe you thought it was just a watch. But to me, it was so much more. It was a way to feel like I'd always be with you. A small piece of me, beside you, wherever you went. But even the watch wasn't chosen. And neither was I.
You came into my life, stirred something so deep inside me… and left without ever looking back. And yet, I kept looking. I watched your life from afar. You seemed happy. You seemed free.
I wished I could feel that too.
But all I got was silence. And on the other side, a husband who tortures me emotionally. I'm carrying his child, but he refuses to admit it's his. He made me quit my job. He forced me to stop my further studies. I went for a check-up and was diagnosed with moderate depression. But he made me lie, made me pretend I was okay. So I do. Every day. I pretend.
But inside, I'm still breaking.
I relapse every day, thinking about you. And he relapses too always accusing, always doubting me, even though I've never contacted or met you again. I didn't. I really didn't.
I'm so sad. I feel like I'm drowning in a world where you're living happily, and I'm just trying to survive. Even though I have my family… I feel alone.
I know one day you'll find someone. Someone to love, to marry, to grow old with. And it hurts to know it won't be me. But still, I have to let you go. Not because I didn't care about you, but because I cared too much, and I never got the same energy back from you.
I want to be free. I want to feel happy again.
I want to be a good mother to my children.
I want to be good to myself, too.
I want peace. I want closure. And I know now I'll never get that from you.
So I'm giving it to myself.
Thank you for the memories, even the imagined ones.
Thank you for what I thought we could be.
But I'm done waiting.
I'm done wondering.
I'm done hurting myself.
This is goodbye. But not the end.
If there's a fate for us, I'll keep praying for you, from a distance with peace in my heart.
By – Daisy
I don't even know how to start this, because the truth is... I've loved you in silence for such a long time, from the very first moment we met.
Back then, we were young. I didn't even understand what that feeling meant. And maybe you didn't either. I know now that you probably just wanted to have fun with me, using my body for your own desires. You ghosted me once you got what you wanted. And so I kept those feelings to myself. Quiet. Buried. But alive.
You never even needed to be near. Just the thought of you gave me comfort. You felt like home, even when you were hurting me.
I was so happy when you made the effort to meet me in January 2025, even though we were 300km apart. That one day… gave me sparks. I cooked for you. I gave you a watch as a birthday gift as an early gift, because I knew how much you loved watches.
But ever since then, I've never once seen you wear it. Maybe you thought it was just a watch. But to me, it was so much more. It was a way to feel like I'd always be with you. A small piece of me, beside you, wherever you went. But even the watch wasn't chosen. And neither was I.
You came into my life, stirred something so deep inside me… and left without ever looking back. And yet, I kept looking. I watched your life from afar. You seemed happy. You seemed free.
I wished I could feel that too.
But all I got was silence. And on the other side, a husband who tortures me emotionally. I'm carrying his child, but he refuses to admit it's his. He made me quit my job. He forced me to stop my further studies. I went for a check-up and was diagnosed with moderate depression. But he made me lie, made me pretend I was okay. So I do. Every day. I pretend.
But inside, I'm still breaking.
I relapse every day, thinking about you. And he relapses too always accusing, always doubting me, even though I've never contacted or met you again. I didn't. I really didn't.
I'm so sad. I feel like I'm drowning in a world where you're living happily, and I'm just trying to survive. Even though I have my family… I feel alone.
I know one day you'll find someone. Someone to love, to marry, to grow old with. And it hurts to know it won't be me. But still, I have to let you go. Not because I didn't care about you, but because I cared too much, and I never got the same energy back from you.
I want to be free. I want to feel happy again.
I want to be a good mother to my children.
I want to be good to myself, too.
I want peace. I want closure. And I know now I'll never get that from you.
So I'm giving it to myself.
Thank you for the memories, even the imagined ones.
Thank you for what I thought we could be.
But I'm done waiting.
I'm done wondering.
I'm done hurting myself.
This is goodbye. But not the end.
If there's a fate for us, I'll keep praying for you, from a distance with peace in my heart.
By – Daisy
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